Trans sex workers make up a small fraction of the total sex worker population, with openly trans men and transmasculine non-binary people making up a smaller and lesser known percentage of that fraction. That can make them harder to find, initially.
Once you’ve decided that you want to book a transmasculine sex worker, your initial concern is likely to be how you’ll find them. Even after you’ve chosen them, reaching out to make a booking can be daunting and you may be concerned that you’ll say the wrong thing and offend. Not to worry, it’s not as complicated as it seems.
Why do you want to see a transmasculine sex worker?
Lots of people have a type that they’re primarily attracted to, and there’s no shame in being particularly interested in transmasculine people. It might be the case that you prefer having sex with someone with a vagina and also find masculine people attractive, so you’d be looking for transmasculine people who have not had genital surgery to remove their vaginal opening. It could also be the case that you’ve seen some porn with trans men that got you curious. Escorts are looking for clients, so you don’t need to be concerned about how your interest will be interpreted in the same way you might when approaching a stranger you find attractive.
For a subset of clients, the appeal of seeking out a transmasculine sex worker might be to explore their own gender identity or expression. This is also an entirely reasonable choice. Trans people are far more likely to be accepting and give you space to explore, and you can be open about this with escorts you contact.
Knowing why you’re making the booking can help you to get the most out of it. Your search will also be easier and quicker when you have an idea of what type of transmasculine person you want to see, as not everyone will meet your requirements if those include having certain genitals or taking testosterone.
How do you find one?
First, you need to know what categories to search in. Trans men may be under the “male” category on an escorting site, but they may also be under a “trans” category or even the “female” category if that is how they choose to identify their sex or how they expect to be viewed. Transmasculine non-binary people may be listed under any of the gender or sex categories offered. Searching under “trans”, even specifying “male”, may also give you trans women and transfeminine people in the results. I know this can be confusing, but there’s a way to make it easier for yourself!
Key words are your friend in your search. If you want to make a booking with a trans man, adding “FTM” or “Trans Man” as key words and search terms will help you to filter out profiles belonging to cis people or to transfeminine people. If you’re looking for someone who has not had top surgery, you can add “pre-op” or you can filter by breast size. For non-binary people, you may have to do some manual checking of profiles once you add a few filters. Trans sex workers tend to make our profiles as clear and easy-to-read as possible, because we’re used to clients being confused about trans identity or what parts we might have.
After narrowing down your search, you’ll notice that you’re left with a relatively small pool of options. This makes it a great idea to really take your time looking through the profiles that are left. When it comes to more niche services you might be looking for, it could be the case that only a few of them are offering those, so you’ll want to carefully follow the instructions on their profile about how they most prefer to be contacted.
How do you approach them?
Your initial message should follow the same formula as you would use to contact any escort. Say hello and use the name on their profile, taking care to spell it correctly, and briefly outline how long you would like to book for and when.
When it comes to the matter of your chosen escort’s identity, if you want to bring it up in the context of talking about a fantasy you have or your attraction in general, be sure to be respectful. In a situation where you refer to them in the third person, use whatever pronouns are stated on their profile or default to “he” for trans men and “they” for non-binary trans people until told otherwise. If you’re unsure, you can always ask!
Try to use the same language they do to talk about their body parts, or default to neutral or masculine language. If they have used a term like “breasts” or “boobs” in their advertisement, feel free to use that word too. They may call their genitals by words like “pussy” and “clit” in their ad, but they also might use words like “t-dick” and “front hole” and it’s a good idea to default to those in the absence of any mention of preferred language.
Whilst you may have fantasies revolving around the fact the person you’re seeking to book is trans, you should keep in mind that not everyone will be willing to cater to those. When bringing these up, mention this as a fantasy and do not jump into roleplaying the idea over text. As an example, some clients have fantasies around the idea of sexual degradation or force feminization, whether the subject of the humiliation play is themselves or their partner. Make it clear that this is a sexual fantasy and that it is not indicative of opinions you genuinely hold towards them, and ask if they are comfortable catering to such kinks.
What can you do during the booking?
Let’s imagine you’ve gone through the process of making the booking, you get there and meet them… what’s acceptable behaviour?
You should ask before touching or engaging in certain sex acts, as you would with anyone, and get advice on how they like to be touched. With a transmasculine sex worker, they may have different anatomy to what you’re used to from sex partners whether you’ve slept with cis women and/or cis men in the past. A transmasculine person on testosterone is likely to have an enlarged clitoris (or t-dick) for example, and might have higher sensitivity than usual and need to be treated with extra care. Those who have had top surgery, which is the colloquial term used for a double mastectomy, may lack sensitivity along the scar line or around the nipple region. It’s always okay to ask and check what they’re comfortable with!
You’re all set to go and make a booking with a transmasculine sex worker!
Are you a sex worker with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!
The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from providers of all backgrounds.