As well as being fun in the bedroom, escorts and other providers can also be excellent companions for a variety of public outings. Dinner, a shopping expedition, a trip to the theatre. You name it, sex workers can be great company both in and out of the bedroom.
There are many advantages to these kinds of dates. But when you take your favourite worker out in public, there are some things you must know. Here’s the public date etiquette you need to follow to ensure everyone has a great time.
Public dates 101: The what and why
Sex workers provide all kinds of benefits besides sex: intimacy, cuddles, conversation, support, and enjoyable company. And this stuff doesn’t necessarily need to happen while you get sexy. It’s perfectly okay to simply appreciate your provider’s company.
Many experienced clients enjoy taking their chosen worker out to dinner or to see a movie together. I’ve gone hiking with regular clients, had picnics, and attended comedy shows. The possibilities are only limited by your imagination, your budget, and the worker’s own preferences.
Although every provider’s services are individual, here are a few kinds of public dates that you might see mentioned online:
- The dinner date. This kind of date involves spending some time eating out at a restaurant with your provider, and the remainder of the time getting sexy. The meal may take place before your play session, or afterwards. Many workers offer dinner or lunch date ‘package deals’, that include a certain amount of social time, sometimes at a reduced rate.
- The social date. A social date is about socialising, not sexytime. These bookings generally take place in public - lunch, drinks, dinner, or even a walk in the park. Social dates might involve attending an event together, such as a concert or theatre production. Some workers offer a reduced price for social-only sessions, so it’s worth checking their advertisements for ‘social rates’.
- The coffee date. Although it’s not as common, some providers offer shorter social dates that function as a 'meet and greet' for new clients. Sharing a coffee or a glass of wine helps everyone to figure out whether they get along. It's one of my preferred ways to get to know someone new, before we commit to a longer session together.
If you’ve never had a social session with an escort, you may wonder what all the fuss is about. There are a few reasons some clients love this kind of experience:
- It feels more like a regular date. Many clients prefer getting sexy with someone they know and trust. If jumping straight into bed with a stranger feels awkward, some social time makes your session more like a regular romantic encounter: drinks, flirting, and plenty of time to get comfortable.
- More time to connect means more intimacy in the bedroom. A bit of social time helps the connection - and anticipation - build. When you’re finally alone together, you’ll have a much more intimate experience.
- Sometimes companionship is the only goal. Many clients simply enjoy sharing a meal and a conversation with their favourite worker. Providers can be wonderful for trips to the theatre, fine dining, and other adventures.
- It helps break the ice. A short social date gives you the chance to chat with your provider before committing to something more intimate. It's a wonderful way to reassure yourself that you've made the right choice!
Now you know what public dates are all about. But how can you ensure your next dinner date or coffee meet is a success?
How to have a successful social date
Although social sessions can be fun, there’s also the potential for awkwardness. Instead of being in your own private space together, such as a hotel room, you’re interacting with the wider world: everything from drivers and waitstaff, to casual passers-by. Your behaviour around these people needs to be appropriate, or you’ll ruin the mood. Here are some etiquette guidelines:
Consider your privacy needs
When it comes to privacy, every client has different requirements. You may not want anyone to know you’re on a date (no matter who it’s with). You might be totally open and comfortable with the fact that you spend time with sex workers. Or anything in between. Regardless, you’ll want to plan an outing that doesn’t leave you feeling exposed.
First: This probably goes without saying, but if being seen in public with a provider would be a complete disaster for you, you might want to carefully consider booking these kinds of experiences.
Second: Don’t be afraid to make some adjustments if needed. You could dine in the hotel bar, for example, so you don’t need to travel too far in public. You may wish to only book workers out of town, so that there’s less chance of running into friends or work colleagues. Or, if your need for privacy is minimal, prepare a simple cover story (‘this is an old friend from work’) in case you run into someone you know while you’re out on your date.
Respect your worker’s privacy, too
It should be obvious, but never disclose to anyone that your date is a sex professional. In places where sex work is criminalised, this could be both legally and socially risky for your provider as well as yourself. Even if sex work isn’t criminalised where you’re located, there’s still a lot of stigma and judgement that could make the situation unsafe.
It may seem that the people you’re hanging out with at the bar, or the friendly waitstaff, would be totally cool. But you can never tell for sure! There may be someone nearby who recognises your date. Even in a ‘sexy’ setting, such as a strip club, a full-service worker might be a target for harassment. It’s simply not worth the risk.Your excitement never outweighs a worker's safety.
Plan ahead with your provider
A good social outing shouldn’t be spontaneous; there’s too much potential for things to go wrong.
Where will you be eating? Have you made a reservation? Is it close enough to walk, or will you need to drive? What’s the dress code? All these considerations need to be considered. It’s helpful to check in with your worker during this process. They may have dietary preferences that need to be taken into account. And not all sex workers love comedy, or boat rides! So whatever you have planned, run it by them first.
Also, make sure your schedule is realistic. Many an inexperienced client has lost out on their planned playtime because they spent too long at dinner and forgot to factor in the travel time back to the hotel! Book a session length that won’t leave you feeling rushed.
Make an effort to be a good date
Spending time with a sex worker is a lot like a regular date. You need to ensure you’re dressed appropriately and that you have good manners.
Check the dress code for wherever you’re going, and make sure you’re attired appropriately. Demonstrate your social skills by being friendly to waitstaff, drivers, and anyone else you interact with. It’s not about being pretentious, it’s just about being polite.
And, just in case you’re not sure: the client always pays. Whether it’s dinner, movie tickets, or any other expense, you’re responsible for looking after your provider.
Ask for permission before engaging in PDA
Public displays of affection (PDA) can be fun. But, for many workers, social-only dates don’t include physical contact. This means that physical stuff such as hand-holding isn’t included. Of course, if you’re not sure, you can always ask before booking, or take a look at their website/ ad for more information about what’s included.
What about full-service sessions, such as dinner dates? Hand-holding, cuddling, or making out in public may or may not be comfortable for your provider, depending on their boundaries. You’ll need to check in with them first, for example, ‘Are you okay if we hold hands?’ If the answer is ‘no’, don’t take it personally! Just as you have your privacy needs, your worker will also have their own rules for how they behave with clients in public.
Whatever you do get up to together, keep it PG-rated. There’s nothing more awkward than being asked to leave a venue due to inappropriate sexual behaviour.
Be a good conversationalist
Time spent together outside the bedroom generally means lots of chatting and flirting. You can make this fun by being a good conversationalist.
Some clients see their social date as an opportunity to ask invasive questions such as, ‘Do you have a boyfriend?’ or ‘What do your family think of your work?’ But I’d advise against it. Like any new acquaintance, you need to respect your worker’s privacy, letting them share only if they feel comfortable doing so.
Don't ask about personal topics such as family or childhood. Avoid questions that compromise their privacy like, ' What suburb do you live in?'’ Instead, stick to fun, general topics - the kind of stuff that’s appropriate for a first date. A few suggestions:
- “Tell me about something great that's happened to you this week”
- “Read any good books/seen any great movies lately?”
- “I hear you love travelling…where did you go last? What was it like?”
- “I'd love to know about your hobbies. What do you do for fun?”
If you end up having a deep-and-meaningful, that’s great - but it’s not a sign you should start prying into your provider’s personal life. And no matter how much you might choose to share about yourself, they still have the right to keep their private life private.
Public dates: a walk in the park, right?
Taking your worker out in public can be really enjoyable. It’s a great way to appreciate their company, deepen your connection, and have adventures that are more fun for two. To make your social date a success, you’ll need to plan ahead, respect your provider’s needs, and be on your best behaviour.
Following this guide, you’ll be able to have a fun dinner date or social outing. You’ll have the chance to really get to know each other. And by showing you’re an experienced, confident client, you’re much more likely to be invited to do it all again.