Social dates can be a great way to break the ice with a new companion, have a sidekick for an event, practice your dating and conversational skills, or just explore the world with a kindred spirit at your side.

First, let’s acknowledge that the idea of a “social date” can encompass a few different scenarios. A social date where you chat over coffee, spend a day at the pool together, or go to the symphony is different than a date where the provider will meet and interact with your friends, family, or colleagues. I’ll be giving tips for this range of types of social dates.

These tips can also come in handy for any social time with a companion, like the ‘dinner’ part of a dinner date, going to a concert together as part of an overnight, etc.

Match the companion with the setting

There’s a companion with a wonderful personality and dashing good looks. Do they explicitly mention social dates on their ad or website? They may even have a special rate for social dates. Great! If not, feel free to ask anyway. They may be game for a social date at their typical, or an adjusted rate.

Will they be game for a one-on-one social date, like getting coffee together, having dinner or taking in a performance? It honestly depends. Some providers prefer to stick to more private, intimate settings. Some may have privacy concerns about being seen with a client in public. Some companions may have a social battery that runs out quicker than others.

Maybe your specific social date idea just doesn’t appeal to them. Don’t be discouraged if they aren’t game for a social date! It’s not you, it’s just not everyone’s idea of a good time.

If you want a date to an event where you and the provider will be mingling with people — especially people you know — preparation is key, and no provider wants to go in that situation in the dark. I’d strongly recommend you build rapport and trust with a companion first over a period of time. Get really comfortable with each other, judge whether they seem like a good fit for that date, and then ask if they’d like to be your plus-one.  

Find an intersection of interests

Get inspired! Companions’ ads, websites, and social media feeds are a treasure trove of information about our hobbies, interests, and personalities. Maybe a companion shares your love of golf, art exhibits, Broadway musicals, or trying new restaurants: hello, social date!

Maybe a companion will even give you ideas for a social date - they could mention an activity you’ve always wanted to try. (We do this for a reason… hint, hint!) Hello, social date!

Perhaps they are a native or a longtime resident of the city you are visiting, and they can be your dashing, sexy tour guide. Hello, social date!

Describe the itinerary and craft your pitch

When you are pitching your idea to your chosen companion, briefly describe what activities you have in mind, the date length, and the general itinerary. Is it a date to a black-tie wedding that starts at 5pm at a certain venue? Is it a low-key lunch date followed by a matinee film? A tennis date?

Be as specific as possible about where the date will be, what activities will be involved, and your initial thoughts on whether it will require any specific attire or equipment. Will your provider need a tennis racket, hiking boots, a ball gown? This is good to know!

Ideally, the companion will be jumping at the chance for this date, and this info helps them to arrive prepared for the activities, setting, and company.

Screen as normal

If this is your first time booking this companion, send your screening info as normal before you meet. Even though the social date will be purely in public, screening is about showing the companion you are safe to spend time with, and so they know who they are meeting.

Similarly, if the companion requires a deposit, social dates will probably be no different. Companions require deposits to ensure you are serious and that the time we spend getting ready for dates isn’t in vain – that goes for social dates too.

Observe proper etiquette

Social dates bring up several matters of etiquette.

Discreetly handling the fee: Some companions may agree to take the full fee in advance via electronic means, while others prefer cash. Their website should outline their accepted payment methods and preferred way of receiving the fee discreetly in public. For example, you can tuck it into a gift bag, and the companion can then excuse themselves to the restroom and put it in their purse.

Plan the logistics of how you will discreetly deliver the fee to them. Avoid handing your companion an envelope in public, especially in a crowded setting.

If you already see your chosen companion on an ongoing basis, discuss with them how you would like to handle it. Some companions may invite you to prepay for your social date by giving them the fee during one of your earlier, private dates.

PDA: What level of PDA/public touching are you interested in? Check in with your companion. Kissing, hugging, hand-holding, light touching in public: what are they comfortable with? Discuss this, so no one feels uncomfortable.

Cover story and age appropriateness: If it’s a date to a gala, wedding, work event, or other event where you will be interacting with your friends or colleagues, how will you introduce your companion and describe your relationship if asked?

Also consider age-appropriateness. If you will be interacting with others, is there a huge age gap that will invite awkward questions or make you or your companion feel uncomfortable?

Expenses and planning: If the date includes tickets, food, concessions, equipment rentals, etc. the expectation is you will cover the cost. And don’t forget to buy tickets and make restaurant reservations in advance!

Legal name discretion: Ideally, you will choose activities where a companion doesn't have to use their legal name. If it’s something where legal names must be given while a ticket is purchased, like a flight, let them purchase their own ticket (and cover the ticket cost through whatever payment method they prefer).

If it’s an activity like going to a bar, concert, etc. where IDs are checked, be sure to mind your business around their ID. Excuse yourself to the bathroom or to a separate rendezvous point, or saunter a short distance away and take in the scenery while they take care of ID-related business. Or simply let them enter the venue by themself and meet them inside.

Attire and special purchases: As I suggested before, outline the setting and any required attire as you book, so the companion can make an informed decision on whether the date is their cup of tea.

If it’s a formal event, your companion may have to pay for a dress, shoes, jewelry, professional hairstyling, professional makeup application, and other expenses. It may take extra time for them to get ready. It’s a wonderfully kind gesture to send an upfront tip to help them cover these expenses – it’s not expected, but it’s appreciated! It also ensures your date will be especially confident, beautiful, and well-groomed on your arm.

Social dates can be so much fun! They are a great way to try new things, have a fabulous partner for a fun experience, or get to know someone new in a relaxed and friendly atmosphere. I wish you well on all your social dates!

Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!

The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.

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