Alarm clock. Coffee. Hasty breakfast – or perhaps, not at all. Rushed commute. Long day at the desk. Working lunch. Office chit chat. Stay late. Rush back. It’s already dark on the drive home. Late night emails. Fall asleep, tired. And repeat. For many years, before I switched to a wonderful mix of sex work and graduate study, this was my corporate life. So many sex workers understand just what work can do to us. Of course, work can be a source of fulfilment. It’s often a place where we can solve problems and feel good about our abilities. But day after day, it can also be a grind that chips away at your joie de vivre. It can become a monotony of routine and schedule. A rhythm of living to work, rather than working to live.
Even for those who don’t necessarily have a traditional working schedule, time can slip away. Day to day can feel like a juggling act, with each ball being a huge responsibility – family, work, working out. Calendars beat a relentless march. Amidst all these routines dedicated to other people, there’s no time carved out in the week just for you. And carving out that time is absolutely vital! Even when one has an excellent quality of life, there’s something inherently lacking without a source of excitement. A source of joy. A chance to reconnect with yourself. An opportunity to switch off. A way to feel good in your body. A space for a little hedonism. An outlet. Something to look forward to. In other words: pleasure!
Even when one has an excellent quality of life, there’s something inherently lacking without a source of excitement.
Everyday pleasure is the breath of fresh air that keeps us going. We can all cultivate these small pleasures. My everyday pleasure is opening my window first thing, to let the cool morning air in. I hear the sound of birds chirping, and it perfectly sets up my day. Your everyday pleasure might be the smooth bitterness of your morning coffee, or the sound of the week’s new podcast in your ears. Perhaps it’s a glimpse of a neon sunset just at its tail end. Whatever it is, these everyday pleasures remind us that our senses are there to be used for enjoyment.
Going beyond everyday enjoyment, it’s the connection between sense and pleasure that I really want to focus on. Pleasure isn’t just about having fun in small moments, scattered through the day. In the grand scheme of things, it’s about making a quality decision for yourself. A profound decision to indulge in mental, emotional, and physical happiness that you crave. A bubble of time where you step outside of your routine, take off your mask, genuinely connect with someone else, and feel good in your body. This kind of pleasure is what I call intentional pleasure. It’s related to self care, but it’s about more than care - it’s about pure satisfaction, too. If everyday pleasure is the type of pleasure that keeps us going, intentional pleasure is what reminds us why we’re really here.
Pleasure isn’t just about having fun in small moments, scattered through the day.
Clients need intentional pleasure because it feels really, really good. It feels good mentally, to be honest with yourself about what you want, to allow yourself to step out of your bounds. To pursue that date, sexual experience, and connection that you’ve been craving. Intentional pleasure feels good emotionally, to spend genuine time with someone else. I’ve had precious moments with clients, cuddling in bed, where they’ve confessed to me that it’s been a long time since they’ve really relaxed with someone.
Sex workers love seeing our clients transform from nervous to comfortable, happy, and even giggly in our presence! And of course, intentional pleasure feels good physically. It will always feel good physically to seek out a specific sexual experience that both parties have put care into – which is what seeing a companion is all about. Whether it’s vanilla or kink, time with an escort is truly pleasurable precisely because it’s not part of a monotonous routine. It’s that bubble of time both parties are seeking out.
Whether it’s vanilla or kink, time with an escort is truly pleasurable precisely because it’s not part of a monotonous routine.
Speaking of breaking out of routines, another reason clients need intentional pleasure is because it’s a source of something new. For those who are perfectly content with life, novelty is still essential to truly enjoying life! We’re encouraged to improve our personal bests during workouts, and progress our careers, but not always to explore sexually. Vanilla clients can really benefit from seeing sex workers – discovering new aspects of pleasure for their own body and for your partners too. As a Pro Domme, I’ve seen how mind-blowing it can be for kinky clients to finally feel pleasure their way. Whether it’s finally giving into that pegging fantasy they’ve always had, or trying a new, gently kinky scenario with a trusted companion, exploration is wonderful.
Despite all the wonderful things about pleasure, I’ve often had clients confide in me that they’re a little scared of it. Not of the concept per se, but of making it happen – especially with an escort. For many clients, anxiety about looks, experience, and performance issues hold them back from pursuing pleasure. Some clients are virgins, inexperienced, or haven’t had quality sex in so long that they’re out of touch with what feels good. And then, the process of searching for and booking the ideal companion can feel daunting as well, especially to the uninitiated.
Despite all the wonderful things about pleasure, I’ve often had clients confide in me that they’re a little scared of it.
Luckily for clients, escorts are in the business of pleasure! We’ve made it as easy as possible to find and book us. Usually, booking us simply involves reading and following our instructions as listed on our ads. When it comes to seeing us, no matter who we are or what we do, we excel at making our clients feel comfortable, and at creating that space to open up pleasure. I left the corporate world for sex work partly because I wanted to form more genuine connections. As a companion and Dominatrix, that’s exactly what brings me pleasure. I adore making my clients feel at ease, no matter how many reasons they may have to be nervous. Companions are often experts at helping clients feel relaxed – which of course, leads to natural pleasure. Anyone can seek out a hookup on an app – but with a sex worker, the pleasure is intentional. And amidst the daily grind, that’s the kind of pleasure clients really need.
Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!
The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.