Anxiety is not uncommon, many struggle with it throughout their lives. Nerves are a part of being human. It was “estimated [that] 5.7% of U.S. adults experience[d] generalized anxiety disorder at some time in their lives”. According to this statistic, it appears that anxiety is a part of the human experience. This means that providers can also experience anxiety and nerves prior to a booking, too. It’s only natural!
I believe this discussion is pertinent, not only for individuals who are new to seeking services from sex workers, but also for sex workers who may have taken a hiatus and are returning, as well as for those contending with general and social anxiety. Moreover, it extends to anyone navigating the complexities of seeking professional services in a sensitive and potentially anxiety-inducing context.
Common Symptoms of Anxiety
Common symptoms of anxiety include trouble concentrating, restlessness, irritability, trembling, abdominal pain, and nervousness. These symptoms, unsurprisingly, can significantly affect the booking process and may lead to challenges prior to and during a date.
For instance, difficulty concentrating might cause a client to overlook essential information in a provider's advertisement or website, resulting in incomplete booking requests that providers often do not respond to, thus risking losing the opportunity for a booking.
During a session, if a client experiences anxiety manifested through tremors, shakes, or abdominal discomfort, it may hinder their ability to engage in conversation or fully enjoy the experience. The client might feel the need to slip away to manage their anxiety, potentially leading to misunderstandings with the provider.
These examples illustrate just a couple of the challenges that individuals with anxiety may encounter, with many others to navigate. However, both clients and providers can employ tips and techniques to alleviate anxiety and ensure a more enjoyable experience.
The Booking Process
I strive to streamline the booking process for both my regular clients and newcomers who may be unfamiliar with the industry. Empathizing with their perspective, I carefully consider the essential information needed for my booking form and advertisements, drawing insights from feedback provided by existing clients who have gone through the booking process. This approach involves a continuous process of refinement based on trial and error.
To assist clients in navigating the booking process more smoothly, I offer guidance through a blog post and ensure that the initial bounce-back email following an inquiry provides clear and concise details about the appointment and booking procedures. This proactive communication aims to establish clear expectations and alleviate any anxiety associated with the upcoming appointment.
Creating a Stress-Free Environment
When a client approaches me and shares their anxiety, acknowledging and openly addressing it from the outset can be highly beneficial. Effective communication is crucial. By encouraging clients to express their anxiety openly with me, we can both benefit. Providers typically demonstrate understanding and can provide support and accommodations to make the experience more comfortable.
Environment plays a crucial role. Establishing a warm and cozy atmosphere can facilitate a person’s comfort and enjoyment during their experience. It encourages engaging conversations that foster intimate closeness and strengthen the bond between two individuals, particularly when followed by intimacy. In addition, actions such as active listening enable clients to express their concerns and feelings without interruption, demonstrating genuine support and presence.
I also provide clients with strategies to manage anxiety both before and during appointments. These include practicing relaxation techniques and requesting accommodations beforehand and during the session. Implementing calming methods like deep breathing exercises or mindfulness practices can effectively regulate emotions and induce relaxation. Taking a moment to breathe and recognizing that the anxiety will eventually subside can alleviate stress for both the client and the provider, resulting in a mutually beneficial outcome. Additionally, I prioritize patience with my clients and allow them to proceed at their own pace. These are just a few of the techniques aimed at putting clients at ease and fostering a comfortable atmosphere in my presence.
I remember that every individual is unique, and what works for one may not work for another. As a provider, I tailor my approach based on the client’s individual preferences and needs, and always prioritize emotional well-being.
Social Dates
Many clients are curious as to why providers push for social time in addition to play time. Social time allows two people to naturally develop their relationship organically. Jumping right into things (which is not my style, personally) can be nerve-wracking and stressful. That’s why many sex workers suggest longer dates, and implement a minimum date length for new suitors.
Ensuring your comfort and satisfaction is the provider's utmost priority during a date. If you’re experiencing anxiety, expressing it can be highly advantageous! Longer dates provide the ability to express those feelings without rush. Additionally, this communication aids providers in guiding clients to be present in the moment. It involves attentive listening, honest and compassionate communication, and sensitivity to nonverbal cues.
Communication is a key skill set that providers must have if we want to maintain our client base. As social chameleons, we are experts at both verbal and nonverbal communication. Providers can deepen the connections with their clients by tuning into their emotions and vibes and in turn, helping them feel safe and at ease. Those with many years of experience have expertise in interpreting nonverbal cues to assess verbal communication. By attuning myself into my clients emotions and vibes, it allows me to be receptive to their thoughts and feelings.
By leveraging effective communication skills, both verbal and nonverbal, providers can establish connections leading to mutually desirable outcomes. After all, we educate our clients about consent, destigmatize their desires, and give them a safe place to explore.
It’s important to acknowledge that providers themselves may experience anxiety, which can create a shared understanding between client and provider. This normalization of anxiety can help reduce stigma and foster a supportive environment.
What Clients Can To Reduce Anxiety Pre/ During A Booking
Clients have various strategies at their disposal to reduce anxiety both before and during a booking. One effective approach is to conduct thorough research on providers! It's advisable to invest time in finding someone who demonstrates empathy and understanding towards your anxiety. Platforms such as Twitter and Tryst can be valuable resources for identifying providers with a traceable web presence. Taking the initiative to reach out with all necessary information can help alleviate apprehension about the unknown. Remember, there's no rush when contacting providers; take your time filling out the contact form, as no one is timing your response.
Communication is essential. It can include discussing preferences, triggers, setting limits of physical contact, or requesting breaks during the appointment. If you need your own space during a longer booking, request it. If you need to take a break to attend to work emails during a date, request it! If you’d like there to be no PDA, request it. All you have to do is ask.
Remember the importance of self-care before and after appointments. Engage in activities that help reduce anxiety, such as exercise, meditation, or spending time in nature. If you know me, you’ll know I'm a huge proponent of meditation and its benefits.
Lastly, remember that seeking help from a mental health professional, such as a therapist or psychologist, can provide additional support and coping strategies for managing anxiety in the long term. We are not professionals in that area, and there is only so much we can do. There is no shame in seeking professional help.
Together, clients and providers can collaborate to create an environment that minimizes stress and anxiety, ensuring that all types of dates are not only enjoyable but also deeply fulfilling. By fostering open communication and mutual understanding, clients and providers can establish a supportive relationship built on trust and empathy. Through thoughtful planning and consideration of individual needs and preferences, we can tailor experiences that cater to the unique desires and comfort levels of both parties.
By embracing a collaborative approach, we can transform moments of apprehension into opportunities for connection, laughter, and shared enjoyment. With a shared commitment to creating positive and memorable experiences, we can navigate any challenges that arise with confidence, knowing that clients and providers are supported by each other every step of the way.
Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!
The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.
