A disclaimer on this piece: I’m going to talk a lot about normalizing trans girls, which is a loaded topic that we all have varying opinions on. I am but one trans girl speaking on the subject. I cannot claim to speak for my whole community, just on my own experiences and views that I know are applicable to many others like me, but not all trans girls.
If you have been paying any attention to the news, it’s no secret that trans people are currently a massive target for violent rhetoric from conservatives. It started in 2021 with bans preventing us from competing in sports aligning with our gender identity, and quickly progressed to bans on using the bathroom for the gender we align with, and then further legislation restricting our access to gender affirming care. Some states, such as Florida, have banned hormone replacement therapy (HRT) altogether. Trans women have been proclaimed to be predatory men trying to get into the women’s bathroom to sexually assault “real women.” We have been labeled as monsters.
Even in sex work, a place where we are more accepted, we are treated very differently from cis people. We are treated as a third gender. Many websites separate us into our own category and refuse to categorize us under “men” and women” as well. If you go to Chaturbate, you can filter by men, women, and trans, and the trans people do not show up under the other two categories. Eros is separated by “female escorts” and “trans escorts”.
Tryst has a separate category for trans escorts, but also gives us the choice to appear under the appropriate gender section as well. This makes it easier for clients specifically seeking out a trans girl, but still gives us visibility to other clients if we choose. This is a great way of boosting our visibility while not othering us and I firmly believe other websites should follow this model.
With how the world treats us, it is very easy to see trans girls as these nebulous other beings compared to cis girls. That’s not the case though! We’re normal people and just like other girls!
It is very easy to see trans girls as these nebulous other beings compared to cis girls. That’s not the case though! We’re normal people and just like other girls!
I like to describe it like this: trans vs cis is just a descriptor, the same way body shape or race is just a descriptor. First and foremost, I am a girl. Trans just describes the kind of girl I am. I am not ashamed of or try to hide that I am trans, in fact I am quite proud of how I am. I do think there are ways being trans makes me special. The life experiences that come with being a trans girl are unlike anything else and have been key to shaping who I am. However, none of that discounts that, at the end of the day, I’m just a girl. If you saw me walking down the street, odds are you would have no clue I’m trans. You would just see a very pretty girl walking by and that’s it. Why should how you view me change once you know I’m trans? Does my birth gender and my parts really make that much of a difference?
Usually, the biggest hangup is our genitals, which is understandable. They’re completely different from the parts that cis girls have, and many people attracted to women don’t have as much experience with a penis as a vagina. I encourage people to watch trans porn as a way of helping normalize their view of us. Funnily enough, trans porn is how I got used to being attracted to trans girls, well before I started transitioning. Increased exposure is always an excellent way of achieving normalization. Over time, you actually start seeing a “masculine” set of genitals as feminine when attached to a girl. A surprising number of people have complimented my genitals as looking pretty, something you might not expect at first.
First and foremost, I am a girl. Trans just describes the kind of girl I am.
Ultimately, the goal should be to normalize transness itself. The intermediate step to that is just seeing us as girls.
All of this to say: try and increase your exposure to us and keep an open mind. See us as normal people. See how pretty we are and embrace your attraction to us!
Taken the leap and booked your first time with a trans provider? Here are some things to know!
- Ask the provider how they like to be touched. Some girls don’t like their dick being touched at all, some love it. As much as we are here to make sure you have a good time, respect our boundaries and treat us like human beings just like you should with any provider!
- Also ask how to refer to her parts. This can vary from provider to provider. Some, including me, prefer to call things as they are (dick/cock, hole, ass, etc.), some like their parts referred to more in the vein of clit or pussy, and some don’t care! Calling genitals what the provider wants them to be called can help a lot with making them comfortable. Trans girls can struggle with dysphoria and their relationship to their bodies as is, and using terms they don’t like only contributes to that. The better we feel, the better experience you’ll have with us!
- It is okay to be curious and interested in a trans provider pegging you! That is certainly one of the appeals of seeing one. It is okay to ask, but don’t expect it to happen. Some girls are cool with it, some aren’t, and some might be okay with it but our equipment just doesn’t work well enough that day (something that naturally comes with taking estrogen). However, I, as well as many other girls, am happy to use a strap on, and that’s something to be open to! Having the parts to peg someone does not mean we strictly need to use them.
- Don’t be embarrassed to take us out to dinner or be out in public with us! A lot of us LOVE being treated to dinner, it’s one of those things that is super gender affirming. We understand some clients prefer to generally keep sessions private, but if you would normally take a cis provider out in public, do the same with a trans provider. Flaunt how hot your date is like you normally would!
At the end of the day, we are just girls – don’t feel like you should see or treat us differently! Take the leap over the mental hurdle of booking a trans provider instead of a cis girl. You might be surprised at how much fun we are.
Are you a sex worker or client with tips or experiences to share? We'd love to hear from you!
The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from both providers and their customers.
