Are you a new escort client? I imagine you’re browsing through Tryst with great excitement and nervousness, amazed at the sheer range of looks and personalities available.
Seeing a sex worker for the first time is one of life’s greatest thrills. But it comes with a bit of a learning curve. If this is a recent hobby, you may have noticed two of the most common phrases in the escort industry: ‘girlfriend experience’ (GFE) and ‘porn star experience’ (PSE).
You’ll read these in escort advertisements, and perhaps even in our price lists – some pros offer both options! These terms also appear often in client testimonials and reviews. GFE and PSE might seem self-explanatory…but there’s more to it than simply ‘girlfriend’ and ‘porn star.’
GFE vs PSE – the basics.
‘Girlfriend experience’ (GFE) is a style of escort service that’s intended to resemble an idealised romantic date – lots of intimate, sensual talking and flirting. The focus is very much on companionship, rather than just sex.
‘Porn star experience’ (PSE), on the other hand, is a style of service that’s more like what you see in porn movies – energetic, raunchy, and vocal. It often includes adventurous sexual activities that aren’t covered in a GFE booking. For this reason, it often attracts a higher fee.
A lot of clients make assumptions about what PSE and GFE really mean…but when you’re booking an escort, assumptions can be costly. Here are a few myths, and the facts you need to know.
Myth: A GFE service is exactly like having a real girlfriend.
Fact: GFE is a fantasy experience, and you still need to treat your escort like a professional.
‘GFE’ refers to a session that focuses on talking, connecting, and intimacy. But that doesn’t mean it will be exactly like real life. Some clients assume certain services – such as kissing – are included. Some might assume a different standard of safer sex – that they might get a blow job without a condom, for example, if that’s what they’re used to with regular romantic partners.
But in escorting, the ‘girlfriend experience’ has little to do with real life. It’s a fantasy experience, the same as a roleplay or kink session. There are plenty of differences between a GFE and a date with a civilian - you might be asked to shower before sex, for example. Obviously, you’re going to be asked to pay. And when you get to the end of the session, your escort leaves (and no, you don’t get to ask them out).
Don’t expect it to go exactly like a real-world date. It’s fun to experience the intimacy of a GFE...but your worker is still a pro, and you’ll get the best service if you follow their lead, listen to their instructions, and let them do their job.
Myth: A PSE service is exactly like the last porn film you watched.
Fact: Most porn is unrealistic. Give yourself a reality check before you book, to avoid disappointment.
Monster dicks, sex for hours without stopping, women that seem to love being slapped and choked and having their nipples twisted…if you charge into your next PSE session with an escort and start treating them exactly the way you see women being treated in porn, you might get yourself into BIG trouble. ‘PSE’ isn’t the same as declaring open season for rough treatment, degrading language, or unsafe sex.
There’s a lot of negotiation that goes on behind the scenes in a porn film – a discussion of whether butt-slapping is okay, for example. Permission for coming on someone’s face or in someone’s mouth. Discussions about condoms and safer sex, and what’s expected. Doing sex right means talking beforehand, so you know what your escort is comfortable with. It won’t stop you from getting raunchy – it just means feeling confident that your escort is enjoying themselves.
I love it when a client says something like, ‘I really want to spank your ass right now, is that okay?’ It means I can guide them towards what I enjoy, rather than being surprised.
Don’t forget to use common sense when setting your expectations for the session. Despite what we see in porn, real sex doesn’t require a huge dick or endless stamina. And, of course, don’t forget to take a break every now and then to recover and re-hydrate!
Myth: An escort is either GFE or PSE, never both.
Fact: People don’t fit into boxes - and if you think they do, you won’t see them for who they really are.
Clients often assume that the labels ‘girlfriend experience’ or ‘porn star experience’ tell them everything they need to know about an escort’s service. But it’s a guide only, not a personality test. Every escort is different in what they enjoy, their character, and how they interact with you. If you assume based on just one label, you may not pick up on other clues to their personality that indicate whether you’re right for each other.
Some escorts offer both GFE and PSE as separate experiences. Some don’t identify with either. Some escorts describe themselves as one or the other, but it’s not the whole story. Working out if an escort is right for you involves looking at ALL the details, including how they describe themselves, their photos, and the services they offer. It’s essential to read the full ad text, visit their website, and ask them about the services you’re looking for when you send that first enquiry message.
Escorts are much more than simply ‘GFE’ or ‘PSE’. Don’t forget to pay attention to the person!
Myth: GFE and PSE experiences always include specific services.
Fact: You can’t assume any escort offers a particular service – you need to ask.
Clients sometimes think GFE automatically includes activities such as kissing. And when a worker mentions PSE, some clients assume they offer rough sex, deep-throating, or blow jobs without a condom. But when it comes to services, every escort is different. Although GFE and PSE are sometimes associated with particular sexual acts, it’s impossible to know for sure what your worker offers unless you ask first.
GFE and PSE mean different things to different escorts. It’s true that PSE will often involve more raunchy services. And GFE often includes intimate acts such as cuddling and kissing. But every escort decides for themselves. One of the wonderful things about the industry is that we’re all different – if we weren’t, things would get boring! But it does mean that if you have a specific activity in mind, you need to ask.
It’s best to do this during the booking stage. A good client will say something like, “Hi, I’d love to make a booking for next Thursday at 5pm. Can I check whether you offer kissing? It’s something that’s really important to me.”
Asking before committing to a session allows you to avoid disappointment. It also puts your preferred activities on your worker’s radar; once they know what’s important to you, they’ll be able to focus on what you enjoy rather than trying to guess.
At the end of the day, ‘girlfriend experience’ and ‘porn star experience’ are useful terms that can help you work out if an escort is right for you…but they don’t tell you everything you need to know. It’s still important to ask the right questions and skip any unhelpful assumptions to ensure a great escort date – no matter your preferred style of service.
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The Satisfaction Project is Georgie Wolf's comprehensive guide to sex workers, for clients just like you. Get the know-how for life-changing encounters with escorts and other independent, hands-on providers.
