So glad you asked! Most workers appreciate a thoughtful gesture, particularly if it’s unexpected. The right offering may just be the thing that sets you apart from other clientele and sets you up for maximum success. However, gifting your professional can just as easily go south, so let’s dish!
It’s not Mandatory, but it’s Memorable
Similar to tipping culture in other service professions, your sex worker is unlikely to provide you with a lackluster experience should you show up empty-handed. They may, however, go out of their way to enhance the experience if you decide to be more generous. This can look like being more flexible with their time, expediting your correspondence, offering to wear special outfits in session, or just increasing their overall enthusiasm in your presence!
Are they into it, though?
I’m going to go ahead and put it out there: I don’t think there’s a provider in the world who is not into receiving extra compensation for their time, energy, labor, and experience. Tip, tip hooray! Your pro deserves it, so let them know you respect the fuck out of them and keep that cash flowing!
Regarding gifts, the digital age has made it ridiculously easy to determine what your sex worker really wants.
Some workers maintain Wishlists that they advertise on social media, while others with websites may have entire pages dedicated to their favorite foods, clothing brands and bottles of wine should their suitors wish to spoil them.
If you can’t find any of that information readily (and if you’re not feeling very creative or just a bit lost), you can always simply ask your date what to bring with you in advance, and follow their instructions!
Finally, if you’re following and/or patronizing a worker with a strong online presence, often the best gifts are those not explicitly requested that speak to the worker’s individuality. For example, if you know your provider is into horror films (cough cough), you could score them a vintage Carrie movie poster. If they’ve recently told Instagram that they’re getting into making their own food, you can buy them a cookbook by a culinary influencer they follow. If they posted about their dog’s orthopedic procedure on Twitter, you can arrive bearing accessibility tools (think a special harness or ramp) to aid their pooch in the healing process. You get the idea! I swear, one of the sexiest things a client ever did for me was to hire a landscaping company to come out and tend to my property while I was injured because he knew the overgrowth was killing me.
“You” Gift vs “Us” Gift
I once had a submissive kinky partner who excitedly handed me an unwrapped birthday present, certain they’d nailed it. I proceeded to tear open an impressive mahogany and rubber boot-shaped paddle. More confused than disappointed, I asked why they’d been so amped to give this particular gift to me (I’m no paddling aficionado). Turns out their boot fetishist, impact-play-loving ass bought the paddle for ME to use on THEM. On MY birthday.
Beware: This is not a true gift! If you’ve promised your provider a lil extra somethin somethin “we’ll love” and then show up with a random outfit you’re super hot to see us in, or a new toy for us to shove in your hole, have the maturity to acknowledge that we’re gonna see right through that shit.
Regardless of a worker’s advertised opinions on gifting, I do believe that certain occasions call for it.
- The first time you meet with your worker, for example – you want to ensure you make the best impression possible!
- If you’re meeting around holidays, such as Christmas or Valentine’s Day, a themed present is just the ticket.
- If the provider just had a birthday – or is about to celebrate an impending one – getting them something personalized hits the spot (especially if they’ve been dropping hints!).
Best of luck to you in your gift giving adventures!
Are you a sex worker with tips or experiences to share? Do you have a question for Andre? We'd love to hear from you!
The Good Client Guide destigmatizes sex work while providing guidance on how to be a better client and ally. Better experiences for workers mean better experiences for clients! To make this happen, we’re welcoming submissions from your favourite providers.